Vengance Vera
by RandomDustBunnyzAngel
Summary: It's good for dry skin and devious plots! A sure stupid parody type thing -that is only a parody because it fits into no other category- for chap 541. Don't like bad jokes? Don't read.


**My brain is itchy :3 **

**Warnings: Foul language, weirdness, OOC-ness, bad writing, bad jokes, ect, ect,ect.**

**Thankies: Yuti-chan, MewMewgodess (tee hee Mew X3), Megaphone(dot)kills(dot)you(dot), Queenoffanficworldlovegunner and Princess Zathura ^_^**

**Disclaimer: I don't own NARUTO Masashi Kishimoto and TvTokyo do!**

**Start:**

Three quarters of a million volts of chakra, two matching sets of Six pack abs, two double D's and a worm, can you guess who's on the battlefield? Of course you can! The boobs gave it away didn't it?

"Boobies," Killer-bee said with a grin.

"Granny!," Naruto exclaimed.

"Bee," Raikage glared.

"Brother," The Jinchuuriki shrunk away, poking together his fingers.

"Naruto," Tsunade narrowed her eyes at the blond, who quickly averted his eyes.

"Muscle guy," he greeted with a nod.

"Bee," Tsaunde looked over at the cloud ninja.

"Boobies," his grinned returned,"Naruto," he said to his student.

"Bee!,"

"A," The hokage grunted at the big ninja.

"Tsunade," The big ninja grunted back.

"Aloe Vera," Naruto threw over his shoulder at a boulder way over in the corner.

_"Fox brat,"_ The voice of white Zetsu echoed back.

**"Oohh come on! Just kill each other already! My legs are falling asleep!,"**

"Naruto this is it, either you stop here and now and turn back around or we will drag you back by force," Raikage said in his 'Fatherly/grandfatherly Don't fuck with me' tone.

"Oh come on Brother! Let us through, fools ya fool," Killer-bee winced,"Shit why does my rap-torettes always disrupt serious moments?," he grumbled to himself.

A' twitched,"You two are the BIGGEST idiots I have ever met! Every time I see what you two are doing I get a headache!,"

Naruto puffed out his chest,"Your words mean nothing! I will continue on! as long as I have positive thoughts," Too bad those cause cancer, "Fine then , my Will of Fire," causes cancer, "Dreams?," Cancer, "Rainbow bridge?, " cancer, "Friends?," Cancer, "Spinach?~!," E- Coli, which is thought to cause cancer.

"Naruto you can't win a war with happy thoughts alone!," Tsunade said.

"Yeah, they apparently cause cancer," The human torch mumbled as he crossed his arms.

"That's not what I meant!,"

"We're fighting this war to protect you and if you go out there and Madara somehow manages to capture and kill you, what will you do?," Raikage asked seriously.

Naruto huffed,"It doesn't matter! I have to save my friends! Because if they die but we still defeat Madara, will we really have won?~!,"

"YES!," Tsunade and A yelled.

"That wasn't a question!," Naruto seethed.

"Enough with this crap! You're going back to the turtle island and that's final!," The Body-building cloud ninja threw a punch at Naru-kit who flashed out of the way, only to block another punch that sent him sliding back.

That was surprisingly ineffective.

Naruto stood,"Granny you understand! Talk some sense into him," he yelled.

"..." Tsunade looked down sadly.

This is awkward, I mean, he's expecting some back up and the person he looks too doesn't trust his judgement. Who would? our little kit is kind of a nut.

"Granny?," Naruto's face softened.

The lady kage glared up at him,"Even if I wanted to, I can't ignore everyone else's wishes in favor of yours,"

The tension is rising, somebody please grab a knife, and a ham. Pork cures all!

"Whatever, you gotta do what you gotta do, just wish I hadn't blown all my free passes when I was twelve," On ramen, "Guess I'll just force my way through then," Naruto readied his fist.

"Give it your best shot, I am the fastest ninja alive now that the fourth is dead," A is there something you're not telling us?

Naruto looked shocked, even though I'd be kind of obvious that-

"Minato and myself butted heads on more than one occasion, that's literal, it's one of my special Jutsu's," Instant Migraine no Jutsu! ,"He was great, I thought he'd never be surpassed, but then you were born," the Raikage looked at Naruto boredly,"And all those kind thoughts turned into logical ones and after a couple of days I realized he was great in physical power but his mental prowess is like yours," he picked at his ear, "Which is in a word, 'Gopher,', his failure to bring peace to the world by doing the _SMART_ thing is evidence of that!,"

You're saying that Naruto and old MInato had the intelligence of ground squirrels?

"Quit fucking saying squirrel! It stopped being funny after the first joke,"

I would, but this for _SCIENCE_ damn it!

"You're wrong," Naruto muttered, No I'm pretty sure it's spelled Science,"The Fourth Hokage _didn't fail_!," he said with determination!

No he did, even Rebecca Black thought he failed and that's coming from the very essence of 'Fail'.

The Raikage tsked,"Hm, fine then, you leave me no choice!," he towered over the blond, reminding us all of those scenes from Tom and Jerry.

"A! What are you doing?~!," Tsunade was worried, what with the size difference and all. A could smush Naruto like a bug under a rock.

"I'm going to pound some sense into that glowing banana coconut of his!,"

"WHAT?~!,"

"I'm gonna fucking kill him!," The Cloud ninja exclaimed, readying his fist."If he dies, it will buy us just enough time to find a new vassal before the Kyuubi is revived," he aimed a punch directly for the blonds cute little glowing face.

Naruto made a hand sign, ready to defend himself, then right before skin met skin. Skin met skin. It's Killer-bee to the rescue! giant monster sword and all.

"Sorry, foo' but if you want to kill Naruto you gotta go through me," Killer-bee smirked.

"Damn it, Bee,"

Tsunade sweated,"Wait, those looks," She sighed, "Flashback?,"

"Flashback," Naruto said with just as much disappointment in his voice.

"_**Shit,"**_ Zetsu snarled.

_FLASHBACK!_

It's a row of tiny ninja's! And there on the end! It's an Ox! It's a Bee!,"

It's Killer-Bee!...Yeah I didn't get that joke either.

The line up of incredibly stoic children stood at attention as the instructor/Raikage bitch guy yelled at them, "Everybody listen up! Only one of you will become the next B!," he motioned to his left,"This young man is A, our next Raikage," the pointed to his right, "the old pirate that really needs to eat an orange is our current raikage, as most of you," he glared at the little rapper in the line who grinned back, "know,"

"This is a very important test, so give it your best shot," he said, stepping back to the stone wall that acted as a prison for the children. We all know that if one of them wanted to leave they'd have to break it down or try to climb over it.

Gravity doesn't seem to like children very much in this series. Leads to a lot of booboo's.

"Wow he didn't even give us the long explanation," The boy standing next to Bee whispered to the other boy standing to his right (Bee was on the left)

"Rikudo is smiling down on us," the other boy whispered, waterfalls of joy flowing down his face.

"First up the only girl that actually volunteered to do this,"

"yay!," The girl cheered, sticking her tongue out at the boys -who did the same back- before marching proudly over to the young Raikage.

"Bump fists and let loose with a double Lariat!,"

The four foot child and six foot tall teenager bumped fists and flung themselves at a straw dummy set in the center of the circle field.

The force of A hitting the dummy flung the girl into the air, she somersalted and landed hard on her back.

"I landed on my Snickers," she said.

Who else thinks that girl turned out to be Ameyuri Ringo? The violence, the flip, the hair, it all fits.

"Looks like this is going to be a long day," the proctor said with a sigh.

"Hn," The Raikage grunted in agreement,"Hn?," the sound of a dummies head hitting the ground and rolling made him look up, "And we have a winner," he grinned.

"Looks like it, lord Raikage," The proctor nodded.

"Hell yeah _booooooy_!," tiny bee exclaimed pumping his fist in the air.

A laughed as he walked over,"Hey Kid," said kid looked at him,"Give me some skin," the taller ninja said kneeling down.

The little cloud ninja smiled widely as they bumped fists,"From here on out, you and I are brothers, welcome home little brother!,"

Tiny Bee did it! He DID IT! Aw let's go get some ice-cream buddy you earned it, you didn't do a barrel roll when A hit you! Unlike that Useless, useless girl!

"I'll show you, I'll show you all!," The girl huffed angrily.

So we end on a scene that guarantee's we'll have a long overdue speech about bonds.

**Random TIME!**

At a sandbox playground, laughing and giggling, stood a group of young kids. They were gathered around a certain small blue kitten, who was mewing helplessly as she was picked up and snuggled by a little brown haired girl.

"KITTY!," She squeeled, "Aww! She's so CUTE,"

The other kids began mumbling about how strange the cat looked.

"She's blue," a blond haired boy stated, pulling out a few strands of fur, making Konan flinch.

"What's on her ear?," another blond haired boy reached for her ear.

_*HISS*_

"Oh it's a spot,"

Madara swung his body back behind the tree and chuckled to himself, '_Revenge works both ways Konan,'_

In the background, black dots danced in Konan kitties vision as she began to black out from lack of oxygen.

"I am going to name you Lulu!,"

'_Nagato, Yahiko, HELP!,'_

**END!**

**WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!~! **


End file.
